The Melees of our Lives
by ReeseSupreme
Summary: A spoof of soap operas, this season involves the conflict between Roy and Ness and the relationship between Kirby and Jigglypuff!


  
  
ReeseSupreme:This chapter is mainly an introductory to SOME of my characters and my writing style. Hopefully you'll like what I've done with them. This is my first entry here so I really hope you all review after reading it!  
  
Disclaimer:SSBM and it's related characters are not my property, they belong to Nintendo.Other characters may appear in this story that isn't my property nor Nintendo's but instead are the property of various companies and people.  
  
Like goombas through a warp pipe,  
These are the Melees of our Lives!  
  
Smash Studios, where the award-winning "Super Smash Brothers" show is filmed. It's first season was a hit,and the original 12 characters got instant fame. The second season, "Super Smash Brothers:Melee" followed in the footsteps of the first, this time with over twice the characters fighting it out on TV's everywhere.  
  
Smash Studios was a somewhat huge facility.The interior was mainly made out of metal. The front door lead to a lobby,which split into 3 halls,one to the locker rooms and bathrooms, another to the match preparation room and the last to warpers, where the fighters were sent to fight and be filmed on various stages set on different worlds.  
  
"Oh! There's Yoshi!" Peach and Zelda both yelled in symphony. Peach gives him a hug and starts chatting with him. Captain Falcon looked on in disgust,"Why does he get so much attention from the girls but I don't?! Look at me! I'm gorgeous! Who could resist these muscles?" Samus looked at the self-centered Falcon,"It's pretty easy to resist a perverted musclehead who likes to sneak into shower rooms!" Falcon glanced at Samus, "Oh? And what's so great about Yoshi,free eggs?" "Yoshi's a nice person, unlike YOU!" Samus snapped at him. "He's respectful and always returns a favor, you should hang around him more often, maybe it'll rub off on you!" Captain Falcon's mind drifted from the conversation into his favorite subject,"Samus, you look very hot with that suit on." He commented, "And I bet you'd LOOK very hot with it off!" Samus, fed up with the guy, kicks him in the crotch. Falcon crumples to the floor in pain. "Note to self:Buy a cup!" He whines in a high-pitched tone. Samus walks over to Yoshi,"Hey, I heard you had a part-time job now, what is it?" Yoshi was silent for a moment,"I,I have a match against Link in 3 minutes, I gotta go, sorry!" With that, he took off. His sudden departure confused Zelda,"Well,that was weird. What kind of job does he do exactly?" Peach looked at the fleeing Yoshi,"Probably something simple, like delivering flowers."  
  
Yoshi headed to his locker,knocked 3 times,then twice, and then once more. His locker then sank below the ground into a subterranean hallway. He then made his way to another elevator,which led him into an office. A mysterious character sat at the chair. Yoshi then placed a heavy-looking, silver-colored egg on the table before him.  
  
"This is the perp, right?" The figure inquired.  
  
"Yeah, he's not as stealthy as everyone had claimed!"  
  
"You got back what he stole,right?"  
  
Yoshi then placed the Triforce on the table. The man then examines it, "I'll have some of my people return it to Hyrule."  
  
"Where's my money?"  
  
The figure tosses a bag full of coins to Yoshi, his legs almost gave in to the weight. Yoshi places the bag on his back and rushes back to the studio. The figure turns to the silver egg and breaks a hole in it with a hammer,revealing a hand wielding a hook-like weapon. He smashes the egg completely to reveal a fox adorned in blue clothing. "Guess you weren't sly enough, Sly Cooper!" The figure chuckles to himself.  
  
"OOOWWWW!" "Sheesh! Quit moaning! It's giving me a headache!"  
  
Kirby was in serious pain, Jigglypuff, his girlfriend, had dragged him to the hospital.  
  
Pikachu was sitting next to him in the waiting room."What's your problem?" he asked,Kirby sighed,"Ahhh,car problems." Pikachu was confused by his response,"Car problems?"  
  
He was working out some problems with his favorite Hummer when he accidentially drank a bottle of oil instead of his gallon of pop. He had to take a day off from the studios.  
  
Jigglypuff turned to Pikachu, "And why are you here?" Pikachu looked up from his newspaper,"Headbutting contest with Pichu." Jigglypuff examines Pikachu's head, "You seem alright, you shouldn't even be here!"  
  
Pikachu looked back down at his newspaper, "Tch,Pichu's the one in the ER..."  
  
A familiar face popped in to interrupt the conversation,"Hiya everybody-a!" His enthusiasm spread around like a bad cold to everyone in the waiting room,"Hi Dr.Mario!"  
  
Kirby pounced out of his chair,"Oh no! I'd rather stay ill than have this nutcase work on me, give me another doctor!" 

Dr.Mario grabbed Kirby and put him back in his chair,"Sorry, I'm-a de only doctor here at 5 pm!" Dr.Mario looks at Kirby's medical form, "Stomach-a problems eh? Well, let's see what they are!"

The doctor punches Kirby in the belly, sending out a jet of oil into his face. "Hmm, either you drank a lot of oil, or you think-a you're a jellyfish!"

Jigglypuff was impatient,"What do you perscribe doctor?"

Dr.Mario grinned,"Give-a him a V6 engine and he'll be ready to go!" He waits a second to see if anyone laughs. No one responds,"Ahem, well, Jigglypuff, every night just punch him in-a de stomach a few times to get all de oil out."

Kirby leapt up,"What?!"

Dr.Mario pulls out a syringe, "Oh, and if-a he won't cooperate, give him a poke with this-a needle-poking liquid-shooting thing-a-ma-hooey!" Dr.Mario deals Kirby a jab in his side with the needle.

"Ow! You jerk! What did you jusshh,oshh noshh, my moushh going limmmp....can'tsh feel anshythi-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" Kirby then falls asleep.

"Okay doc! Thank you!" Jigglypuff says as she picks up the sedated Kirby, "OH! Wait-a up Jigglypuff! What about your pr-" Jigglypuff interrupts the doctor, "Shut up! I don't want anyone to know!" She yelled as she left the clinic."She needs to rest at the hospital at a time like this!" Dr.Mario sighed.

"Is Puddles going to watch Marth? Is he? Is he?" Yelled an enthusiastic Roy. He was in the preparation room with Marth, practicing his moves before his 2 on 1 match against Ganon and Luigi. "Fine, I'll bring Puddles to watch! Even though that stupid purple bear does not match my outfit!"

Marth has forever regretted the day he got Puddles, he took Roy to a circus several years ago. He had lost him for a while there but found him in front of a hideous-looking clown hosting a water-squirting game. Marth gave in to Roy's pleas to win it for him. He aimed away from the duck with the bear prize, but the blast of water mysteriously curved and hit the unintended target anyway. As the clown handed the teddy bear to Roy he wispered into Marth ear, "Be careful...it's a very jealous teddy bear! MUHAHAHAHA!" Marth snapped back his head, "Ow! too loud!" "Oh,sorry." The duo turned away for just a second, but when Roy looked back, the clown and his booth vanished...

"Hiyaahh! Whaaaaa!" Roy swung his sword around to warm himself up, but while swinging he accidently sliced Ness's bat in half... he inspected the bat closer and saw something he shouldn't have...  
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(What is it that Dr.Mario was trying to tell Jigglypuff? What is it that Roy saw? Find out on the next episode of: The Melees of our Lives!)

Reesesupreme:Wasn't that great? This isn't the first time I've thrown out this story though, I used to put this on Gamefaqs, but had serious issues getting it up often. So, if any of you out there has ever been on Gamefaqs and was a part of the SSBM blooper topic I really hope you review it!


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